I think that the title of this post might be a little misleading so let me explain. Generally I don't dwell on what might have been, if I hadn't been diagnosed with cancer, but occasionally, there isn't much of a choice. Due to my treatment beginning at the start of the school year of Year 12, I missed most of the first year of Sixth Form. This meant that I could only complete one exam, English Literature, over the course of the year. Therefore, while my friends continued into their final year at school, I remained with the students in the year below.
This week hasn't been the easiest, due to a lot of my friends in Year 13 having received offers to Universities that they have applied for. I am ashamed to say that I have generally stuck my head in the sand over the issue of my friends leaving next year, but suddenly this issue has become very real! I would highly recommend anyone going through a similar circumstance, to try and not follow my example. While there are very few, if any, positives to be taken from the fact that the people that you love most will leave, but just like any other part of the treatment process, pretending that it's not happening is no way to deal with the problem. There are very few words of comfort that I can offer anyone who has to deal with this as for me, this is probably the hardest thing to come to terms with, caused by my cancer. However, it's important to remember that there are many other people going through similar situations and they do come through it. I think the thing that I struggle with most, is the helplessness of the situation and that nothing you can do will change what will happen. Even writing this is pretty difficult, as putting it down in writing makes it very very real and I still haven't entirely accepted that they are going to leave. I'm sure from earlier posts, everyone can see just how much I value my friends and have relied on them massively over the last year, so saying goodbye will be exceptionally hard.
On a few occasions such as this one, there is no looking for what is good. Cancer is crap.
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