Monday 3 February 2014

26-24

After the awful news last week, I am pleased to say that my Aunt's condition has improved a considerable amount and she is now talking and is out of intensive care, on the road to recovery. What a huge difference a week can make. With everything that's happened recently, I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed emotionally. I certainly won't be watching any heart wrenching films anytime soon, although in all honesty, they are nothing compared to witnessing England fall short in Paris at the weekend!

I have the prospect of a double dose of chemotherapy next week looming over me, so I have immersed myself in taking an active part in aspects of Sixth Form life and getting as much work as I possibly can, done. I know that next week won't exactly be the easiest or the most fun, but I'm definitely looking forward to it being over and having half term to enjoy!

I asked my Mum earlier tonight if she thought I had changed much in the last year and a half and she said yes, but not entirely as she had expected. I would like to think that I have a more balanced outlook on life, in that I try not to worry about the smaller and less significant problems, but I can't argue with the fact that this has made me more self absorbed. I find that I struggle to empathise with my friends and their issues in the same way that I once felt I was able to. Often, I feel alienated by the differences in everyday dilemmas of the people I socialise with, as well as my own ones at home. What makes the situation stranger for me still, is the fact that I know that if I was in any of their positions, I would be exactly the same and none the wiser about some of the difficulties that people of my age face. I realise that I am coming across very self righteous which isn't what I'm trying to convey at all. My friends are incredible people and I know for a fact that I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am today without them, but what I'm trying to say, is that sometimes it can be quite lonely when everyone else has gone home and the dramas of school life dissipate into my personal reality.

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